


The Perks of Being a Levi Flower

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Flower!Levi, Humor, M/M, Minor Jean Kirstein/Eren Yeager, Minor Marco Bott/Jean Kirstein, Squirrel!Hanji, Tree!Erwin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 21:34:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 9,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24263680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Levi is a flower that likes to watch Eren touch himself.Yes... it's that fic.Previously deleted.
Relationships: Levi/Eren Yeager
Comments: 13
Kudos: 97





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! 
> 
> So I wrote this fic about 7 years ago. I deleted the story following a few doxxing threats I received, and immediately regretted it. 
> 
> I am planning on reposting this story in its entirety if possible, however I only have the first 2 chapters. So, if anyone has a saved copy of the story and wouldn't mind sending it my way so I can post all of the chapters, I would be grateful!

Eren realized after coming his brains out for the second time that sniffing the strange plant his mother left on his desk had been a horrible idea. That plant, which the tag had identified as a Levi Flower, must have been some sort of aphrodisiac or something because he honestly never felt so painfully aroused in his entire life.

He lay splayed open on his bed completely stripped, coated in a slick sheen of sweat and totally spent from his last orgasm, but oddly he still wasn’t completely satisfied. He growled in frustration as his cock began to harden for the third time that night.

“What is wrong with me?” Eren whimpered, wrapping his fingers around his hypersensitive erection. He bit his bottom lip to stifle his moans as he began stroking his organ slowly.

Eren looked away from his cock to the plant still perched on his desk, seemingly watching the entire show he was putting on. The idea of anyone, or in this case Levi the plant, watching him become so undone was humiliating, but it was also strangely exciting. It made his skin flush with an unbearable heat and his need for another climax intensify.

As he continued to stroke his aching manhood, he slowly moved his other hand to his hardened nipples. His fingertips lingered awkwardly on the pink nubs. He never actually tried to stimulate his nipples before, but the moment he pinched one he threw his head back into the pillow, briefly wondering why he hadn’t. It felt so much better than he expected. But soon, even that stimulation wasn’t enough. No. He had an need deep inside of him that needed to be satisfied.

Reaching over to his nightstand, Eren grabbed a small bottle of lube. He quickly coated his fingers with the liquid before flipping over onto his hand and knees with his ass in the air, allowing the plant to watch him fuck himself on his fingers. The thought of doing this was so dirty and lewd it almost made him come right there.

“Levi, watch me fuck myself for you,” Eren moaned, his lustful eyes staring over his shoulder at the flower as he reached down to rub his index finger against his puckered entrance.

A soft sigh left his parted lips as his fingertip gently massaged the ring of muscle until it was relaxed. He pushed his finger inside and tensed up slightly, never having fingered himself before, but he soldiered on, sliding it in deeper and deeper into his warm cavern. Once it was completely nestled, he let out the breath he was holding, letting himself a moment to relax and adjust, then pulled the finger out so that he could thrust it back in.

The rhythm of his finger moving back and forth inside of him caused him to groan into the sheets, and he quickly added a second. He scissored his opening impatiently, exploring every inch and wiggling slightly to stroke his prostate. He grinded his hips desperately against the mattress as he keened uncontrollably.

“Oh, L-Levi! Nhh,” Eren panted, thrusting back onto his fingers more vigorously. His toes were curling and the heat of arousal pooled in his groin. He was so close.

He was on the verge of climax when he felt something sliding up his inner thigh. Startled by the contact, he opened his eyes, never realizing that he closed them in the first place, and peered over his shoulder to see what was touching him. He choked back a scream.

“What the fuck is going on?”

Behind him, the Levi Flower had grown exponentially in size, and its large plantacles were wrapped around Eren’s exposed, heated body.

Eren quickly withdrew his fingers from his stretched hole and attempted to escape, but the plantacles held him in place. He tried to wriggle out of the flower's grasp, but it only caused the large roots to tighten around him.

He felt the tip of one plantacle thrust into his entrance, aiming straight at his prostate. Eren let out a whine and bucked his hips forward, all thoughts of escape leaving him as a wave of warmth coursed through his body. This was exactly what he needed, what he had been craving all night long.

The Levi Flower's pace quickened as it fucked the boy into the mattress. Eren whimpered wantonly, drool dripping down his chin. He was delirious with pleasure as he chanted Levi’s name repeatedly, begging to be taken harder and faster. After one particularly well-aimed thrust, Eren came with a scream, shoving his face into a nearby pillow to muffle the sound and spilling his seed on the sheets below.

The flower relinquished its grip on the boy and shrank back to normal size while Eren collapsed onto his stomach, panting heavily after that last mind-numbing release. It had been the most intense orgasm he ever experienced. All of the physical exertion was taking it’s toll on Eren’s body, and his eyes began to droop as drowsiness set in.

Levi the flower watched from its spot on the desk as the brat fell asleep, snoring softly into his pillowcase. Not bad. Levi was definitely going to have fun with this kid.


	2. Chapter 2

Eren woke up the next morning with a sore asshole and the vague recollection that something very unusual took place last night, though he couldn’t exactly remember what it was. Much to his embarrassment, the last memory he had of the previous night was of himself presenting his ass for the Levi Flower sitting on his desk, scissoring his asshole so expertly and moaning like a seasoned pornstar. He even cried out Levi’s name when he climaxed!

And then, to top it all off, there was that delirious daydream he had about the plant growing plantacles, storming his ass like a tornado, and making him come like a faucet. Seriously! What was that about? He must have really been out it to imagine such a strange, fucked up thing! However, the shame he felt for having such a preposterous, depraved hallucination didn’t quell the odd state of arousal he always felt himself experience every time he even so much as glanced at that damned flower.

Eren surmised that perhaps this phenomenon was the result of his pent-up sexual frustration. He decided that the best course of action would be to dispel some of this sexual energy, thus regaining his normal sense of mind that would kindly let his dick know that it definitely was NOT kosher to get a stiffy over photosynthetic beings, even if they could magically grow plantacles and fuck you into oblivion with them.

A week and three Craigslist posts later, Eren found himself reclining on his bed, naked and panting wildly underneath an equally undressed French stranger named Jean. Even during the heavy petting session, Eren could still feel the Levi Flower watching him, which turned him on even more than he really wanted to admit.

Eren drew his attention away from the plant, instead focusing on the toned chest and the pink, swollen lips looming over him, beckoning him to lean up for a taste. He licked his own lips and pulled Jean closer to his body, claiming the other boy’s mouth in a fierce battle of dominance. Jean lowered his hips down, rutting his erect member against Eren’s, forcing the brunet writhing underneath him to emit a soft gasp, and he took that opportunity to delve his tongue deeper into the caverns of Eren’s mouth.

Their tongues clashed with forceful jabs, curling and mingling with one another as the heat of arousal flared higher and higher. Eren moaned into the kiss and spread his legs open wider. He was ready to be taken. He needed Jean inside him. Now.

But then, Jean was ripped away from Eren, screeching and flailing as he was dragged off the bed by a plantacle wrapped like a vice around his ankle.

Curious about Jean’s sudden disappearance and the fearful noises he was making, Eren opened his eyes, seeking out the missing man. His eyes widened when he noticed the thick root circling Jean’s ankle.

“Jean!” he called out uselessly, shifting up from his position on the bed.

“Jaeger, don’t just sit there! Fucking help me!” Jean screamed, grabbing onto the plantacle in a futile attempt to rid himself of the restraint.

Jean continued neighing for freedom, but the plantacle ignored his protests and tossed him into the hallway in a crumpled heap. Jean sat up with a growl and tried to re-enter the room to give that plantacle a piece of his mind, but the plant seemingly sighed, bored of the Jean’s antics, and smacked him across the cheek. Jean fell to the floor, completely unconscious. The plantacle quickly closed the door and fastened the lock.

Meanwhile, Eren watched the spectacle unfold right in front of him with wide, disbelieving eyes.

“So it wasn’t a dream,” he whispered, his breath hitching as he saw the plantacle inching closer to him.

As terrified as Eren felt in that moment, he couldn’t shake this burning desire to be filled that arose inside him. It was real. The object of his fantasies, which had given him an incredible night of unprecedented pleasure a week ago, was actually right in front of him, and the thought of experiencing the pleasure of that night again made him cry out with a low whine.

The tip of the plantacle reached his foot, caressing the top softly as it slowly wound its way around his ankle. A second plantacle appeared and followed suit, performing the same maneuver around his other ankle. The plantacles tightened and pulled his legs apart, spreading them wide open to completely expose his asshole.

Eren’s cheeks flushed red, humiliated for being in such a compromising position, but his groin stirred in anticipation. He peeked over his shoulder to his desk to get a glimpse of the plant, but he felt a cold shiver run down his spine at the sight. The flower pot was empty, save for the disturbed soil.

Distracted by the flower's mysterious disappearance, Eren started when he felt something brush against his opposite shoulder. He turned his head, expecting to see another plantacle, but instead he saw a beautiful naked man staring right at him with an annoyed expression. Eren’s blush deepened when he realized that the gorgeous man in front of him could see everything he had on display.

“Wh-who are you?” Eren stuttered, moving his hands to his groin to cover his nudity. Two more plantacles appeared and thwarted his attempt at modesty by circling around his wrists and pulling his hands high above his head.

The man clicked his tongue before leaning forward with a small smile tugging on his lips. “You already know my name, brat. You’ve been saying it every night in your sleep for the past week.”

“L-Levi?”

Eren trembled as the Levi languidly brushed his fingertips against Eren’s inner thigh, slowly moving closer and closer to his hardening bulge. Eren bit his lower lip to stifle a moan.

“I’m a bit disappointed, Eren. Posting ads on Craigslist to meet a fuck buddy? Are you really that unpopular that you had to resort to that?” Levi snorted before leaning in even closer, placing his lips against Eren’s ear. He whispered lowly, “You know, if you’re really that desperate to fuck a cock, you can beg for mine."

Eren felt his face heat up at Levi's words. How could Levi be so crude? It was so embarrassing!

Levi chuckled darkly at Eren's reaction, asking bemusedly, "You want my cock, brat?”

Eren whimpered as he felt Levi’s tongue swirl around his earlobe and dance down the curve of his neck. He pulled against his restraints, wanting to touch this Adonis-like man worshiping his heated body, but the plantacles held his hands firmly in place.

Levi’s fingers softly grazed Eren’s member, causing the boy to shudder and crane his head back. It felt so good. He needed more. He needed Levi’s attention lower. Eren lifted his hips, silently pleading for the man to touch him, but Levi just smirked at the unraveling boy underneath him.

“What is this? I barely touch you and you’re already becoming such a mess.”

Levi watched the boy thrash around as he palmed Eren’s erection. He moved his hand down lower and traced his lubed fingers around Eren’s puckered hole, massaging the ring gently before pushing his index finger inside. Eren cried out and bucked his hips.

“Ahh, please, Levi. Please,” he begged breathily between moans, arching his back as Levi began thrusting his finger in and out, abusing his sensitive prostate. Levi quickly added another finger, scissoring to speed up the stretching process.

Eren's reactions were certainly amusing. He was so sensitive to Levi’s touches, and all of the pleasure he felt was clearly displayed on his face in such an erotic expression. Levi had never seen a sight more beautiful than the lust radiating from Eren’s eyes.

Levi lowered himself onto Eren and claimed the boy’s parted lips with his own. Eren broke away from the kiss and whimpered wantonly as Levi rutted against him, their members rubbing against one another. Levi quickened his pace, bucking his hips sharply against Eren’s.

After a particularly naughty whine slipped between Eren’s lips, Levi had to take a moment to pause. He needed to take Eren now. He needed to feel Eren squeeze all around him, clenching him tight, drawing him deeper and deeper into his warmth while making more of those filthy, alluring noises.

Levi pressed the tip of his erection against Eren’s entrance and thrust inside after placing a chaste kiss on the boy’s cheek. Eren groaned loudly at the intrusion, much to Levi's delight. Eren was a screamer, and that was a sound Levi could listen to all day long.

During their coupling, Levi couldn't help but think that the feeling of Eren’s sweet, tight ass as it stretched around his throbbing arousal was just one of the many perks of being a Levi Flower.

Meanwhile, in the hallway…

Jean opened his eyes, blinking furiously to get rid of the fogginess. He glanced down at his body, taking notice of the fact that he was completely naked. He struggled to sit up and rubbed his aching cheek.

“What the hell happened?”

He surveyed the immediate area for clues. His eyes landed on the locked door in front of him.

Oh yeah. That’s right! He was here to fuck that Jaeger kid with the pretty green eyes. But how did he get in the hallway?

Jean’s eyes narrowed. Oh, right. He remembered now. That flower grew plantacles, tossed him out here, and then slapped him in the face! He furrowed his brow and gritted his teeth. Nobody slaps Jean Kirstein in the face and gets away with it! Balling up his trembling fists, he silently vowed to teach that plant a lesson! And afterward, he would prove his sexual prowess all night long by debauching Eren, who would definitely be swooning after Jean’s heroic rescue.

Jean quickly stood up and rammed his shoulder against the wooden door repeatedly until it finally gave away. He stumbled into the room with raised fists.

“Alright, Plant! Prepare to feel my wrath!”

Jean halted in his spot. His eyes widened at the sight before him. There were a hundred plantacles poised for war, guarding the bed where Eren slept, covered in sweat and god knows what other fluids, with a small flower cuddled against his chest.

The plantacles swayed, challenging Jean to a battle, daring him to take one more step. Jean, realizing a defeat when he saw one, relented and held up his hands in a show of submission and asked, “Can I at least grab my clothes?”

Jean walked home nude that night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone thank buttocks_and_pancakes for sending me a copy of this fic! And super quickly at that!

A month passed, and Eren spent a large portion of that time in the throes of orgasmic bliss, fooling around with Levi under his sheets whenever the opportunity arose. Unfortunately, Levi was exclusively in flower form during their sessions.

Eren sighed. He was disappointed by that revelation. Sure, the plantacles were great and they felt really good when they were getting him off, he wouldn't contest that fact, but ever since the time Levi assumed his human form to deflower him, Eren couldn't get the image of his stunning beauty out of his memory. The way the sweat rolled down the elegant planes of his face, the slight reddening of his cheeks from exerting himself over Eren, the way his fringe clung to his forehead to frame his delicate face, the curving of his brows when he finally reached climax. Eren bit his bottom lip at the memories. Levi was a damn fine specimen, and Eren really wanted to have another glimpse.

Desperate to find a solution for his pining, Eren researched his Levi Flower online for information, but after nearly a hundred fruitless Google searches he was getting discouraged, and he almost entirely surrendered the hope of ever seeing human Levi again until he stumbled upon a website hidden in the deep, dark abyss of the internet. According to the website, there was a shop located nearby with a potion that could transform plants into humans. Eren peeked over his shoulder at the plant and smiled darkly. The Levi Flower seemingly rolled its eyes, aware that the brat was definitely thinking of something stupid.

The next day, Eren went to the address posted on the website and purchased the mysterious transformation potion from an elderly woman manning the counter. She handed the product over to Eren with a knowing "Good luck". Sensing the ominous foreshadowing in her tone, he bowed his head with a mumbled "Thank you" and zipped out of the store to return home, barely able to contain his excitement. Unfortunately, the moment he walked through the front door, Armin and Mikasa called for him.

"Hey, Eren, can we talk to you for a minute?" Mikasa asked quietly from her spot on the couch beside Armin, twisting her fingers in her scarf.

Eren growled and stopped walking. Hiding the bag behind his back, he turned around to face her. "Uh. Yeah, sure. What's up?"

There was a tense moment of silence. Armin looked between Mikasa and Eren before he said, "Well, we've been noticing that you've been talking about your flower at lot recently..."

"His name is Levi," Eren interrupted, putting his free hand on his hip. "What about him?"

Armin flinched at Eren's tone. He knew he was getting his hopes up too high when he thought this would go smoothly. "Well, Mikasa and I think that maybe you might possibly be sort of becoming a little too... fond of... Levi..."

Eren slanted his brows dangerously and glared at Armin. "What do you mean by that?"

Armin sighed heavily at Eren's defensiveness. Just once he would like to have a civil conversation with Eren where he could freely express his thoughts and views, but no. No. Eren just has to get enraged about everything and have a temper tantrum like a bratty five year old.

Armin stood up from the couch, puffed out his chest, and took a step toward his friend. "Eren, you talk about your plant nonstop. The only thing that comes out of your mouth is 'Levi would say this' or 'Levi would do that'!" Armin waved his arms above his head and raised his voice. "Newsflash Eren, Levi is a fucking flower! It-"

"HE!" Eren interrupted again, baring his teeth and clenching his fists.

"IT can't talk! And it can't do anything besides be a FUCKING FLOWER!" Armin was almost hysterical at this point.

Eren moved to stand directly in front of his friend. "So what are you trying to say exactly?"

Mikasa stepped between the two boys. "Eren, calm down. We're not attacking you. We just think it might be a good idea to get you some help."

Eren's jaw dropped, and he shot his sister a scandalized expression. "Are you being serious right now? What? You think I'm crazy or something? Is this like some intervention shit going on right now?"

"No, of course we don't think you're crazy." Mikasa tried to reach for Eren's shoulder to comfort him, but he smacked her hand away.

"Stop! Just stop talking! I'm not crazy! And I don't need your help!" Eren shoved past his sister and stormed down the hallway.

"Eren, where are you going?" Mikasa called after his retreating form.

Eren's bedroom door slammed in response.

Armin sighed again and looked over at Mikasa. "That went just as well as I expected."

Mikasa was silent for a moment before she nodded in agreement. "Yeah."

Armin looked back to the television screen in front of them. "Oh look, commercial break is over."

While Armin and Mikasa caught up on the latest drama of Scandal, Eren was seething behind his locked bedroom door.

How dare they accuse him of needing help! He didn't need therapy! Levi wasn't just a fucking flower. Yeah, okay, Levi liked to fuck Eren a lot as a flower. In that sense, he supposed Armin was correct about Levi being a "fucking flower". But Levi was more than that. Eren saw with his very own eyes that Levi possessed a real human form locked up somewhere beneath his leafy, photosynthesizing exterior. He would attempt to explain that to Mikasa and Armin if he could, but he was afraid that they would definitely check him into the nearest mental ward afterwards.

He sighed and closed his eyes, feeling a sudden wave of hopelessness wash over him. How could he convince them that he wasn't crazy?

He opened his eyes and looked down to the bag in his hand. Realization of what was in his possession set in, and an eerie smile crept onto his lips as a new idea popped into his head. If he were to show Armin and Mikasa that Levi could turn into a human then they would be forced to believe him, and luckily for him, he just bought the very potion that would make his scheme a reality. Eren snickered and rubbed his palms together. His plan was coming together nicely.

He sprinted over to the Levi Flower still perched on his desk and rummaged through the bag, pulling out the bottle resting on the bottom. Once the potion was in his grasp, he popped the lid.

He smiled brightly at the flower in front of him. "Levi, I've missed you," Eren cooed as he drizzled the liquid onto the plant until the bottle was empty. "Please become human again. Please. Just for me."

And then Eren waited. And waited. And he continued waiting some more, but nothing happened.

He frowned. "What the fuck? You're supposed to become a human! Why are you not transforming?" Eren squeezed his eyes shut and fell back onto his bed. His plan was a dud. He wasted his money and he had nothing to show Mikasa and Armin to absolve him of his pending charge of insanity.

Eren stilled. Maybe they were right. Maybe he was going crazy. Perhaps he just imagined the whole scenario of Levi turning into a person in his head, and maybe the plantacles were just some strange hallucination that was so advanced he could actually feel it! Eren gasped loudly, distraught by the thought, and shot up from his position on the bed, eyes opened wide. Then he screamed.

"Why are you screaming? What the hell is wrong with you?" Levi scolded, glaring at Eren as he patted his drenched skin with a crumpled towel. Eren rubbed his eyes. Levi arched his brow, clearly not amused by Eren's behavior.

Eren tentatively spoke, "Levi? Are you real?"

Levi snorted. "Idiot. Why did you dump a bottle of sugar water on me?" He gestured to his wet torso.

Realizing that Levi was completely nude, Eren blushed and looked away shyly. "I-I'm sorry. I- Wait." Eren snapped his head back to face Levi. "It was only sugar water? What the hell? I spent $20 on that!"

"You paid $20 for sugar water?" Levi said with a condescending grin.

Eren fumed. "Well, it was supposed to turn you into a human!" He smacked his forehead. "Oh my God! I can't believe I just wasted $20 on sugar water! I'm so pissed off right now!" He gasped. "Wait!"

Levi rolled his eyes.

Eren smiled brightly. "You're human! Oh wow, Levi! It worked! I can't believe this whole time all I needed was sugar water to make you transform!" Eren giggled and wrapped his arms tightly around Levi's shoulder. "Oh, you're so sticky!"

Levi grimaced and pushed against Eren's shoulders to pry the brat off of him. Eren fell back onto the mattress. "Look, I don't know what you've heard, but poisoning me with that filth didn't turn me into a human."

Eren blinked. "But you're a human now...."

"I became a human from my own power."

"If you could do that then why didn't you turn into a human before?" Eren asked, shifting onto his elbows and narrowing his eyes slightly.

Levi rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at the bed. "Because you never asked. I didn't know you wanted me to be human." He said the next part hesitantly, "I thought maybe you liked me better as a pretty flower."

"Of course not!"

Levi quickly turned to Eren and glared.

Eren, chastised by the look he received for his harsh tone, softened his voice and grinned sheepishly. "I mean, you're a beautiful flower, but I think you're also beautiful as a person."

Levi's face relaxed slightly at the admission, and Eren reached his hand up to caress his cheek.

"Shut up. You already tried to kill me with enough sugar today. I don't need any more," Levi murmured, moving to hover over Eren. He glided his fingers up Eren's thigh, leaning down to press his lips against Eren's in a soft kiss as Eren closed his eyes and moved his hand to cradle Levi's nape. After a few minutes, Levi pulled away from Eren's lips but still remained within kissing range.

Eren opened his eyes and looked up at Levi with a wide smile on his face, panting softly from the kiss. He licked his lips and nuzzled Levi's chin. "Is there a way for you to become human permanently?

Levi looked away from Eren for a moment before locking eyes once again. "Well, there is one way. But I'm not sure if a brat like you would be able to handle it." Levi smirked and leaned down to plant small kisses on Eren's neck.

"Please tell me, Levi," Eren pleaded, craning his neck to give Levi more access to his collarbones. He closed his eyes once again and moaned slightly as Levi sucked generously on his clavicle.

Levi hummed against Eren's heated skin. "Eren, if you really want me to become fully human, you need to fertilize me."

Eren's eyes cracked open. "Huh?"

Levi sat up from his position over Eren and laid down on his back beside him. "I need you to fill me with your seed." Eren watched Levi's hand with wide eyes as it moved down its owner's chest to the junction where his thigh met his hip.

Eren didn't need to be told a second time. He mumbled a few praises to whatever deities were smiling down at him for making this a reality and quickly pounced onto the hunky man spreading his legs for him. It was so great, Eren didn't care that the plantacles completely shredded his clothes, and he didn't even mind Levi cursing at him or threatening to castrate him when he got a little too passionate with his thrusting.

After Eren spent his seed and pulled out of Levi, he sighed softly and fell onto the broad chest below him. He cuddled against Levi's shoulder and smiled. After a few moments spent in post-orgasmic bliss, Eren asked quietly, "So, does this mean that you're human now?"

Levi tensed underneath him. "Uh. About that." Levi instantly sat up and Eren fell to his side onto the mattress.

"Levi?"

"Oh well, would you look at the time." Levi quickly rose from the bed. He hurried over to the desk and disappeared in a poof of smoke. When the cloud dissipated, Levi was a small, beautiful flower once again.

Eren jumped to his feet and shrieked, "LEVI?!"

He watched dumbfounded as the flower inched along the desk to the flower pot, using its leaves to pull itself up on the ceramic lip so it could burrow its roots into the soil.

Meanwhile, in the living room, Armin and Mikasa were absorbed in the show. The drama had almost reached its climax when Eren's voice erupted from his bedroom, "Levi, you asshole! You lied to me about becoming fully human so you could use my body and get yourself off?! I was going to show Armin and Mikasa that you were a human! I hate you! Let's see if I ever let you touch me again!"

Armin reached for the remote and raised the volume of the television. He shared a look with Mikasa.

They were definitely going to call the therapist tomorrow.


	4. Chapter 4

Eren was about to set up Levi's bathing tub when his cell phone vibrated in his pocket. Levi shot Eren an irritated frown while Eren returned a sheepish look. "I can igno-"

"Just answer it. It'll be more annoying if it just keeps ringing," Levi muttered tersely, yanking his tub out of Eren's grasp, placing it on the floor, and climbing into the basin.

Eren let out a dejected sigh and reached for his cell phone, answering unenthusiatically, "Hello?"

"Hey Eren," came Jean's sauve nicker from the other side of the call.

Eren blinked. "Uh, hello... Jean, was it?" he said uncertainly as he gripped the handle of the watering can Levi held up for him.

"Yeah!" Jean beamed, so happy that Eren remembered his name! Maybe he would finally get to fuck him! Unless that damn flower cockblocked him aga-

He took a deep breath and stopped that line of negative thoughts. This time he would close the deal. He was sure of it!

Jean cleared his throat and asked sweetly, "Hey, so my friend Connie and I are going to a party. I was wondering if you wanted to join us?" Please say yes. Please say yes!

Eren hesitated before answering, "Uh, I'm sorry, I can't. I'm watering my boyfriend right now. But I'll catch ya next time, okay!" He pressed the end call button and focused his attention on Levi, sprinkling water onto the gorgeous man below him.

Levi glanced up at Eren with a scowl. "A little more to the left."

Eren rolled his eyes, but he smiled and moved the watering can to the left to appease his sassy flower boyfriend. Levi settled into his tub with his crossed feet resting comfortably on the edge and a content grin on his face. "Perfect."

Meanwhile, Jean growled as the dial tone hummed into his ear. That plant. That fucking plant! Still ruining Jean's attempts at seducing Eren! Oh, how badly he wanted to rip that stupid flower out of its pot, chew it all up, spit it out, and stomp all over it.

Connie shoved the last 12-pack into the trunk. He slammed it shut and looked over his shoulder at Jean. "Is Eren coming with us?" he teased with a mischievous grin, wiggling his ass from side to side for dramatic effect.

Jean glared at the phone in his trembling fist, anger boiling in his gut. He screamed and smashed the device onto the ground before turning to Connie. He hissed, "No. He said he's busy watering his boyfriend..."

"Oh, he has a boyfriend... Tough break, man," Connie said with half-hearted sympathy, but his curiosity was piqued and, undetered by Jean's obvious rage, he asked, "So, is that like some new sex thing I should be aware of or...?" Connie reached into his pocket, grabbing his phone to research.

"Ugh!" Jean tossed his hands up and trudged around the car, throwing himself into the vehicle and slamming the door.

Connie opened the driver's side door, laughing hysterically as he fell into the seat clutching his aching side. "Oh, damn, I had no idea this Eren kid was so damn kinky! Seriously, Google this shit!"

"Dude, I don't wanna know! Just shut up and drive already!" Jean interrupted, slapping his hands to his face to cover his blush. He knew all about Eren's kinks. More than he ever wanted or needed to know.

And so they drove around the bend with Connie's obnoxious laughter and Jean's woeful whinnies fading into the background, blending into the hypnotic melodies of Connie's Patented Party Playlist blaring from the speakers.


	5. Chapter 5

It was a late Wednesday afternoon when the moans and screams to go faster and thrust harder filled the air, a melodious litany sung for the humanoid flower man who was thoroughly plundering an insatiable Eren for the fourteenth time that day.

It was a new record. Erwin the Evil Tree would know, being rooted in the ground right outside Eren's bedroom window watching their every move and all. His reasoning was quite simple: if they didn't want him to watch, they would close the curtains. But the curtains were always left open, so the Erwin Tree felt no shame in his voyeuristic tendencies. Besides, it seemed as though that Eren kid got off on it anyway.

He watched intently as the plantacles lifted Eren and flipped him over, bending and contorting him into some weird crab-looking position. That was a new one. And judging by Eren's vocal cries of "YES" and "OH FUCK", it must be a good one. The Erwin Tree definitely wasn't complaining. Eren was on full display for him, and it was a damn good view.

No, Erwin definitely wasn't complaining. Not one bit.

A loud whine rang out and, as if on cue, a nimble squirrel clambered up the tree's trunk and stopped on a sturdy branch in front of the window, tail flicking excitedly as it keenly observed the activities taking place on the other side of the glass. "OH! Are they going at it again? This must be a record!" The squirrel leaned forward to get a better look.

The Erwin Tree sighed. He hated when he was interrupted during these precious moment. But he had work to do. Evil plots don't fulfill themselves, after all.

"Hanji. How did the expedition into the Dok yard go?"

Hanji dutifully directed their attention to the tree. "It went well, sir! Just as planned! We successfully planted ten nuts. We should have a few new trees growing by the end of the month," the squirrel said with a proud salute.

The Erwin Tree smirked evilly at the news. At this rate, he should be able to conquer this entire neighborhood by the end of the year. Everything was moving along as planned. He had a flock of birds under his command, surveying the area and watching for potential threats that may arise from the forest at the north edge of the neighborhood. He had Hanji conducting experiments to brainwash all the woodland creatures into doing his evil bidding, like burying his nuts in all of the neighboring lawns and grazing on the offspring of his competitors.

Yes, everything was all falling into place.

Well, except one thing.

He still needed to harness the power of the Levi Flower to initiate the last phase of his evil scheme. It wouldn't be a proper evil invasion if he didn't lay claim to the gardens as well, and to do that he needed a powerful flower with a lot of excess pollen to spare; two qualities the Levi Flower definitely exhibited in spades during his nightly romps in Eren's chamber.

But the tree wasn't a fool. He knew the flower would never willing agree to aid him in his evil endeavors. Despite the flower's delicate constitution, Levi was a strong, independent being that would rather smother himself in a ceramic pot full of manure than yield to Erwin's evil tyranny. So, instead of politely asking and being unfairly rejected outright, the Erwin Tree devised a plan that would force the flower to join his devious league of wayward wildlife by exploiting the flower's obvious possessiveness of Eren.

The Erwin Tree cackled evilly at the thought, his branches rumbling from the force of his belting laughter. Tomorrow. He would initiate the plan tomorrow when Eren left the house to go to class in the morning.

But until then, he would continue watching their frenzied mating until Eren passed out. Oh, yes. Erwin was a happy, evil tree.

A very happy, evil tree indeed.

The Next Morning

Eren rushed around his room, grabbing whatever clothes he found laying on the floor in his path and pulling them onto his naked body. He was late. So fucking late!

"Dammit, Levi! Why didn't you wake me up?" Eren complained as he tugged a wrinkled shirt over his head.

Levi pointedly ignored Eren's complaints and stared at the shirt. "Are you seriously going to leave the house wearing that?"

Eren paused and looked down at his shirt. "What's wrong with what I'm wearing?"

Levi scrunched his nose in disgust and snorted, "You're such a fucking slob. You wore those clothes yesterday. Put something else on."

Eren rolled his eyes, removed the shirt, and leaned down to grab another shirt off the floor.

"Something that hasn't been laying on the floor for the past week," Levi exasperated. He was beginning to lose hope in this one.

Eren let out a frustrated sigh. He didn't have time for this shit. Did it really matter if he was wearing a stale shirt? It's an 8am college lecture. He doubted anyone would even be cognizant enough to realize he was wearing the same shirt he wore yesterday, but he conceded to Levi's unreasonable demands anyway. He really didn't want to incite Levi's wrath. His ass was sore enough, thanks very much!

Eren stomped over to his closet to rummage for fresh clothes, glaring at Levi the entire duration of the walk to make him aware of just how irritated he was at the moment. He huffed, "Well, maybe I would have more clean clothes if your damn plantacles didn't shred everything and toss the remains on the floor!"

Levi rolled his eyes. "You're the one who begs me to rip your clothes off, brat. Don't blame me if you don't have anything to wear."

"I do not beg!" Eren yelled indignantly, glaring at Levi over his shoulder. Levi just smirked in response, which of course made Eren blush like a lovesick school girl.

He turned back to his closet, mumbling incoherent curses about how it should be against the laws of nature for Levi to be so ungodly hot. But then, he also determined that it should also probably be against the laws of nature for Levi to be human-flower hybrid creature that grew plantacles and fucked Eren on a regular basis in every position imaginable, so really, Levi being otherworldly sexy was only a minor infraction of said laws in the grand scheme of things.

Eren dressed in new, clean clothes and dashed out the front door of his house before Levi could impede his departure any further. After locking the front door, he turned to walk to his car in the driveway. He was crossing the front lawn by the tree when it happened.

Smack!

Eren yelped as he felt something slap his ass and moved his hands to cover his abused behind. He jerked his head over his shoulder to identify his abuser, fully expecting to see Levi, but no one was there. Just the tree.

Deciding that the offender was probably one of Levi's plantacles, Eren resumed his earlier goal of walking to his car, grumbling about his grabby flower boyfriend as he got into the vehicle. He turned the key to start the engine and pulled out of the driveway, driving as fast as he could away from the house before Levi could stop him.

The Erwin Tree watched in amusement as Eren's car disappeared around the corner. He turned his attention to the window where Levi was glowering at him. The tree smiled deviously. His plan was a success. Levi was reacting in the exact manner Erwin had predicted he would.

But what Erwin had failed to predict, what he should have obviously predicted, was the overwhelming wealth of homicidal thoughts that flooded Levi's mind at the sight of Erwin spanking his Eren's delectable ass, and, unfortunately for the tree, Levi was completely comfortable acting upon those thoughts to satisfy his murderous urges.

A few hours later, Eren tiredly returned home from class to the sight of a naked Levi in the front lawn wielding a chainsaw. A large tree branch was laying on the ground in front of him.

Eren blinked. "Levi?"

Levi turned around, and seeing Eren, he dropped the chainsaw and approached the boy.

Eren gulped and took a small step back. "Levi, why are you-"

Levi placed an index finger on Eren's lips, effectively hushing the boy. Eren blushed and his eyes went wide, morphing into the beautiful doe-eyed expression that Levi loved so much. It enticed him. Exhilarated him.

Levi needed him.

He licked his lips and leaned in close, pressing his body firmly against the Eren's. He slid his free hand under the back of Eren's shirt and rubbed small circles against the boy's supple, warm skin. Eren shivered at the contact and closed his eyes. Levi took that as an invitation and slowly slid his hand down the back of Eren's pants, cupping a pert cheek in his palm and kneading the flesh.

Eren sighed softly and opened his eyes, mischievously staring straight into Levi's eyes as he parted his lips, taking Levi's finger in his mouth. His tongue danced around enthusiastically as he drew the digit further into mouth, never breaking eye contact with Levi as he bobbed his head up and down and sucked greedily on the finger. Levi's mouth gaped at the erotic sight, his breath hitching and becoming more ragged as his arousal grew stronger.

Levi removed his finger and pressed his mouth against Eren's to hush the boy's complaints, thrusting his tongue past those lips. His hand trailed down Eren's side and slid down the back of Eren's pants to join his other hand.

He rubbed the slicked finger against Eren's entrance, massaging the tight ring to allow access. Eren keened and arched into Levi as the finger slowly burrowed into his ass. The noises Eren was making were too much. Levi was going to explode if he wasn't inside Eren right away.

"Eren, let me fuck you against the tree," Levi whispered hoarsely, his warm breath ghosting against Eren's skin.

Eren was minutely aware that they were still standing in the front lawn, completely viewable to anyone who would pass by, but at the moment he couldn't have cared less. He needed to feel Levi thrusting inside him, filling him to the brim. Eren whimpered at the thought. He needed to be fucked with Levi's cock so badly, right here, where anyone could drive by or look out the window and see them. The thought of anyone catching them in the act was so exciting. Eren hadn't felt this aroused since the first time Levi had claimed him.

He threw his head back and moaned. "Uhn, Levi, yes. Please, fuck me, against the tree. Now."

Levi hurriedly shoved Eren's pants and boxers down to pool around his ankles and shoved his back against the tree trunk. He grabbed the backs of Eren's thighs and lifted him up, pinning Eren between the tree and his broad chest. Eren wrapped his arms around Levi's neck and crushed their lips together. He sucked and bit desperately, needing to taste Levi.

Levi pushed his erection into Eren, and the boy broke the kiss to groan loudly. Levi groaned and bent his head down to lap and bite at Eren's neck. Once he was fully seated inside Eren, Levi wrapped one of his hands around Eren's cock and stroked the hard flesh in tandem with the sharp snaps of his hips.

Levi pounded into Eren against the tree's trunk, and Erwin was forced to watch it all transpire, though without the enjoyment he normally felt, as he silently mourned the loss of his right limb.

Erwin was not a very happy, evil tree anymore

Meanwhile, across the street...

Jean was at Connie's house playing a video game when Connie's boisterous outburst erupted from his spot by the window. "Aha, Oh shit! Jean, come here! You have to see this!"

Jean reluctantly paused the game and waltzed over to the window, freezing instantly as anger boiled inside him. "Oh, fucking hell!"

He was going to kill that fucking flower.


	6. Chapter 6

"The person you dialed is not available-"

Jean groaned and disconnected the call. He tossed the phone on the other side of the bed and buried his face into his pillow.

Why wouldn't Eren answer his calls? He tried calling him every day for the past week. Multiple times each day. Like to the point that Connie was starting to call him an obsessive stalker. Not that Jean really cared what Connie thought about him, but still, even he could admit that he was being a little more creepy than usual. But dammit, he just wanted to talk to Eren! And maybe feel him up too, just a little bit. Was that really too much to ask for?!

Jean bounced his forehead against his pillow. It wasn't possible for Eren not to be aware of Jean trying to contact him. So, it all boiled down to one conclusion: that fucking plant was cock-blocking him again.

Jean growled and slammed his fists against the mattress.

That plant was probably also fucking Jean's former booty call at this very moment too! Bloody hell!

How did Jean manage to lose his romantic interest to a flower of all things? Normal love rivals were supposed to be jock boys, prom queens, or, well, just other humans in general, he supposed. Not freaky alien plants with tentacles and an exhibitionist fetish!

Oh, how he despised plants!

Of course, Jean's internal rage toward plants suddenly reminded him of the flower his mother left on his desk earlier in the morning. He had protested allowing the flower into his sanctum because, honestly, there was no way in hell he was going to get stuck taking care of the brethren of his most hated love rival. But, of course, his mother was a traitor, who sympathized with autotrophic species for some odd reason, and merely scolded him before telling him that he needed to learn how to be more responsible. She then proceeded to tell him that breakfast was finished, which Jean, being as petulant as he was, refused to eat. And wow, had that turned out to be a terrible decision because now he was starving. But he'd rather die of starvation than admit defeat! Admitting defeat for what exactly, he had no clue, but it was the principle of the matter!

So, here Jean lay, starving and lonely with only the kin of his nemesis for company. Fantastic.

Perhaps that was what prompted Jean to start talking to the damned flower. Jean didn't handle rejection well, after all.

"I'm not watering you, so don't get too comfortable on my desk," he grumbled into the pillowcase.

A soft, amused voice responded with a laugh, "Hey now, that's not very nice."

Jean jerked up from his spot on the bed, heart pounding as he turned his head in the direction from which the voice came: his desk. His eyes landed on a man with freckles dotting his skin, which totally weren't adorable in the least. He was leaning against the edge of his desk with a coy smile on his face.

"Who the fuck are-" Then realization struck Jean as his eyes spotted the empty flower pot behind the man.

"No... You stay away from me!" Jean shouted, squeezing his pillow to his chest as a shield and pressing his back against the wall to get as far away from the strange naked man in his room. Not that Jean was actively staring at the man's exposed parts. It was just kind of hard not to notice that he was naked. Very, very naked.

"You know, if you keep saying things like that, you're going to hurt my feelings," the man responded lightly as he approached the edge of the bed. He stopped right in front of Jean. 

"I don't give a shit about your feelings!"

"Oh, fuck, I love when they try to act all tough at first. It gets me hot," the man cooed, placing a knee onto the mattress.

"Don't even think about it, you monster!" Jean tried to kick at the man's knee, but something grabbed his ankle and yanked him forward. A fucking plantacle. Of course it would be a fucking plantacle. Why wouldn't it be a plantacle?

Jean's back crashed to the bed, and while he lay there, stunned at the sudden movement, the man wasted no time crawling on top of him. He ripped the pillow out of Jean's grasp and tossed it aside before caging his prey between his strong arms and thighs.

Jean tried to resist, but the man pressed his chest down against Jean's and placed a kiss on Jean's neck. When Jean's movements stilled, the man moved his lips up to Jean's ear. "You don't need to fight me."

"Like hell! I fucking hate flowers! I'm not going to let one fuck me!"

The man chuckled, and dammit, why was Jean's body reacting to that sound! It was so breathy and erotic, so raw and hot. Then, in the most sinful voice imaginable, the man said, "I have some good news for you then, Jean."

Holy shit, his name sounds so fucking hot coming from the creature above him. Jean was practically drooling.

"I'm only half flower. The other half of me is human." The man nipped at Jean's earlobe before continuing huskily, "So how about you let my human side fuck you while my plant side watches?"

Jean gulped audibly. He was doomed. Doomed, I tell you! Because, fuck, this guy was really fucking hot, and, in spite of his earlier protests, Jean wasn't above fucking a flower man creature halfie thing. He'd been holding his swimmers in for over three weeks now, and that was entirely too long if the ache in his balls was anything to go by.

The man smirked, knowing he had his prey exactly where he wanted him, and cupped Jean's flushed cheek. "So cute, Jeanbo. I only have one rule. When you come, make sure you scream 'Marco'," he instructed firmly before claiming Jean's panting lips in a rough kiss. 

Jean was about to fuck a plant. A plant that just fucking called him Jeanbo like his traitorous mother, who had unknowingly given him the plant that was about to do unholy things to him. There were so many things wrong with this picture, but in his delirium, Jean couldn't bring himself to care one bit.

A few days passed by without a single call from Jean, and Levi patted himself on the back. His plan to distract Jean with his own fucking flower so he would stop interrupting his intimate time with Eren must've been a success. It seemed that big ass tree in the front lawn was useful after all.

Perhaps the tree deserved a treat for a job well done. And Levi had the perfect treat in mind.

"Hey, Eren, wake up." Levi prodded him in the side. Eren didn't even stir, much to Levi's annoyance, but honestly Levi knew that would be the case. Eren was the heaviest sleeper he's ever encountered. 

Levi stared at Eren's face for a moment before an idea on how to wake up his cute lover popped into his mind. Smirking, he leaned in, pressed their lips together, and slipped his hand behind Eren's head. A soft moan alerted Levi that this tactic was working, so he moved his barrage of kisses down Eren's chin to his neck.

"Mmm, Levi," Eren muttered, eyes still closed and his voice soft from sleep.

"Eren," Levi whispered into his ear before nipping his lobe. "Come on, wake up."

Eren shuddered and opened his eyes, an action he immediately regretted. Why did sun light have to be so fucking bright? "What time is it?"

Levi pulled back from Eren's neck to scowl at him impatiently. "It's time for you to wake up."

Eren tried to stifle a yawn but failed. It probably would've been cute, had Eren brushed his teeth before he decided to yawn right in Levi's face, but since he was forced to breathe in Eren's morning breath, it was considerably less cute. Disgusting even. Yet oddly, the morning breath didn't kill his boner.

Eren sat up and rubbed at his eye. "But, Levi, we were up so late last night, and I'm really tired- mmmph!"

Eren's eyes widened dramatically as a plantacle wrapped around his mouth and gagged him. He grabbed onto the vine and pulled against the restraint.

Levi tilted his head to the side and grinned sardonically. "Ah, that's much better."

Eren kicked his legs from under the blanket. "Mmph mmm!"

Levi admired his spirited attempt at freedom, but eventually even someone as determined and headstrong as Eren got tired. Levi took the opportunity to swoop in and cup Eren's cheek. "Hm? What was that? You need to speak clearly," Levi teased with a chaste kiss to the tip of Eren's nose.

Eren just glared at Levi, who laughed in response. Man, Eren could be so feisty. So perfect. So hot.

Levi made sure the curtains were open when he fucked Eren from behind against the window, ensuring that he gave the Erwin Tree a spectacular show. That loopy squirrel was there too, unfortunately, but Levi was too ensnared by Eren's wantonness to really care. He was too lost in the pleasure; the combination of those beautiful lips chanting his name so beautifully and that tight heat squeezing all around him and sucking him in deeper with every thrust was driving him crazy! Was he going crazy? Crazy in love, perhaps? Before he met Eren, just the thought of the L-word would've made Levi high-tail it in the opposite direction. Perhaps, love didn't have to be so scary?

Eren tensing up distracted Levi from his thoughts. Sensing that Eren was right on the cusp of climax, Levi reached around to give Eren's cock a few firm strokes, earning a loud, guttural moan in return. Eren's spend hit the glass, and Levi couldn't stave off his own climax as Eren's ring clenched around him.

Eren sucked in a few deep breaths to calm to racing heart and leaned his head back against Levi's shoulder, smiling at him so brightly in his afterglow. Levi felt a warm sensation burst in his chest.

Yeah. Maybe he could give this crazy love thing a try after all.


End file.
